Katelyn

Dec. 22, 1989

What a special day!! A new baby!! Katelyn was born just before Christmas. What an awesome Christmas present! And how fortunate for Del & I to have time off to come and spend time with the new baby, her parents, and older brother. That wonderful bundle of joy! I got to hold her for hours.

That little bundle of joy grew up into a bundle of smiles. She loved her dolls. She loved to play dress-up and dolls with her little sister, and her friends. Just picture her in a frilly hat, a long dress, and mommy's high heels. And carrying a doll! Hours spent in the basement, imagining all kinds of stories and acting out on them.

That little girl grew into a leggy, long-haired teenager. Hormones, moods and all. She even matured out of that stage! Into a beautiful, young, caring woman. When she spoke in her gentle mannered voice, you knew she meant what she said. When she looked at you, you knew she was taking in everything you were telling her.

18 years was too short for us as a family to have this precious girl. We were just starting to imagine what Katelyn would be like as an adult. We were picturing her in the city, attending university. We were imagining what an awesome teacher she would be! We were dreaming about the beautiful babies she would have someday. She had amazing potential. But, you know, that girl did amazing things without anyone realizing it. She didn't need to wait for being grown-up to do great things! She in death, has made us realize that she touched the people around her, and impacted them in many ways we couldn't imagine happening. The countless tributes, the many hugs, the never-ending tears of loss, have been felt everywhere.

Katelyn's spirit is carrying on around us. Have you ever felt as much love and acceptance as the hugs that are being given because of her?? How about the tears and smiles being shared because the connection thru that precious girl?? How about the young women and men in school, inspired to become better students and athletes, because of Katelyn's presence??? Or the adults, who because of a young woman, want to become better people and share of themselves because of what Katelyn shared with them??

So, today, as I think back on Katelyn's short life, and I think back on my visit to Rog and Anita's this morning, I remember a wonderful young woman. A woman who will be missed forever. A woman who has an awesome family, remembering and honoring her. Ty & Kelly, Beth, and Nathan, will always have that sister up in heaven, looking down, and smiling on them. Rog and Anita will always have that special daughter, with the endearing smile, live on in spirit, but better still, she's with Jesus; smiling and dancing with the butterflies in heaven. The many angels in their house-literally, and figuratively-are all a special remembrance of the sweetest angel up there now, for us. I'm sure she is wearing a beautiful outfit-a white gown one day, and jeans the next! :-) Her beautiful, long hair, is waving in the breeze. I'm sure her music is cranked up high, and she's singing along with full gusto!

What a blessing for us as a family to have had that young girl for 18 years. We were blessed and privileged to be able to share in her short life.

The important thing is what do we do with what Katelyn gave us in her short time that God let us have her. Can we take that love and caring and share it with the people we connect with?

I love you, Katelyn!

Surgery is a done deal!

This is home tonight! Back at his games!
Kyle is taking the wonderful post-op photo!

Just before going in for surgery.

Check out Jayde's wonderful Bomber colors outfit!! Brothers, together, waiting for the docs to come in before surgery.

So, I tried to write before the pics, but I'm not taking the time to figure that out! I'm so grateful to be home tonight! What a day! Jayde & I took the Blazer and left for the city at 8 am. We got an hour of shopping in before we were off to the hospital. Del & Kyle left at the same time to do separate shopping and they met us at the hospital. This was all supposed to work out so Del & Kyle could come home tonight, and Jayde & I would have a vehicle in the city to come home whenever he was discharged in the next day or two. But, Jayde's overnight stay at the Hilton, to play Nintendo, were crashed! His doc did such a good job, and all went so well, Jayde was discharged out of the hospital by 530 pm. So, off we went, to Wendy's drive-thru, for a triple burger, fries, and pop. Then to McDonald's for a Rolo McFlurry! Yes, Jayde ate it all. I was fully prepared for him to up chuck on the way home, but it has all stayed down. And we are safely home once again! Yay!!! We get to sleep in our comfy beds tonight! I'm once again so proud of our brave young man. He is a trooper with an awesome attitude!

mid-December thoughts

I don't really know how to start this blog-or end it, for that matter. So much to express, but words don't convey enough at times.
My mom's bone scan results are in-the cancer has metastasized to her bones. Namely, her lt ribs, lt shoulder and upper arm, some vertebrae, and possibly her hip. How's that for a slap in the face???? Yeah, not what you want for results. This news was given on Wednesday, and by Thursday morning, Cancer Care called to get mom in for radiation set-up for that afternoon. Thankfully, Laureen was available and willing to take mom. Not only did they discuss and set-up for radiation, they gave mom 2 shots of radiation. She received treatment to her ribs and shoulder-the areas where she is experiencing pain. The radiation was not given to cure, but was given as a measure for pain control. And as of last night, mom thought it was helping. We think Chemo is now done, as it hasn't done what it was intended to do. Or not enough anyways. Cancer Care is meeting on this today, and will set up final orders regarding all this, but we are leaning towards not bothering with the last treatment of the intended set. Mom felt quite ill with the last one, and we're not sure that its worth it, just to feel horrible. Dad is definitely struggling with the treatment plan. He would like to still try everything possible, understandably so. But, mom is so tired. She is so tired of feeling ill. I think for her the benefits of treatment just don't do enough. It becomes a question of quantity vs. quality.

Jayde's surgery is only 2 sleeps away. He says he is not nervous, and I actually believe him. He wants it over with, and move on! I'm doing ok so far with that plan. Can't make any promises for Wednesday tho. It's so difficult to trust and give up your child when they move on through those heavy OR doors. Yeah, I know he'll be fine! He will be in hospital for 1-2 nights, and I guess he and I will bond during this time. Yes, I still insist on staying with my big boy. He may be taller than I am, but he still needs his mother to look out for him! Or maybe I should say, his mother still needs to feel like she can look out for him! :-)

Jayde's team played their last pre-Christmas game yesterday, and tied. How exciting for them-they finished first in the Interlake. That's a first for that team, and I'm so happy for them. Kyle has a league game tomorrow and a tournament on Saturday. Then he's done till January. I worked my three shifts last week, and I work tonight. A friend, who works casual, is working Tues and Wed for me so I can be with Jayde. Del is wrapping up his busy time at work with the paperwork for pre-orders of seed for next year. I'm so proud of him on his first pre-order season!

Saturday, we were at home. Del and the boys did farming stuff. I got to spend the day in the house-lucky me!! I baked buns and cinnamon rolls. I cleaned and did laundry. I slept in! I sorted and bagged Christmas gifts. And, we had company in the evening! Our favorite, friendly neighbours came for coffee! Wasn't that wonderful!??! We don't do that enough!

So, the question in my mind today is-well there's alot, but this one isn't as deep as some-what's appropriate for Christmas gifting?? When is it enough or not enough? Do children need more stuff? Is it better to spend only $20 on a gift that is only supposed to have that amount spent, but not appropriate for that person, or is it better to spend $30 for a gift that person actually wants or needs?? Everyone's dollar is valuable and stretched to last as long as possible. Why would I want to spend $10 on a shirt that will not last 2 washings, when I could spend $50 on one that will last 10 washings? (I guess I could buy 5 shirts for that amount, eh??) You know what I mean. I want to buy the best gift possible, for the amount allotted, and I want it to be meaningful. Also, will my kids appreciate the gifts they're getting, or is it just a pile of whatever for them?? Hmmm, I guess every parent struggles with what to get their kids.

One week till Katelyn's birthday. How the heck do you help parents get through that first birthday without their child? Especially at this time of year?? What is appropriate to do to honor that day?

Told you. Don't know how to end this post. Too many questions. Too many thoughts. Too many emotions.

Hey, baby, let's go to Vegas..........

I've not disappeared! It's just that there are not enough hours in a day!

Weekend in Vegas-that was interesting! I'll try to keep this short. If you can believe it, I was not nervous for the flight, but I guess I should have been. It started off by not being able to sit together with our cozy group of 5. Del & I got to sit across the aisle from each other, but everyone else was in front or behind, seated separately. How's that for an ominous start??? In the grand scheme of things, I don't think it was a bad flight. The people around us didn't look alarmed at all. But, there's me-wide eyed and stomach in my throat! Palpitations and all! I'm not meant to fly for fun! I'll never forget the look on Andrea's face as she turns in her seat to look at me, and I think our faces mirrored each other. Sheer terror. That turbulence over Denver, Colorado! We did make it to Vegas-Yes, it's safer to fly than drive, I know. As we land, my stomach is trying to find out where it should be. I power up my phone, and 2 minutes later, it rings. Ahhh, the joys of a son who needs to know everyone is ok before he falls asleep. His way of coping since Jayde's accident. So, there' s me, bluffing my way through that conversation-oh, yeah, flight was awesome, all is good, ya-da-ya-da......... drink some hot milk, and go to sleep! (I think it worked for him!) Okay, on to Vegas.......we checked in, we walked, we explored, we ate, we enjoyed the wonderful warm temperatures! Daytime temps of early 20s and nighttime temps of 13/14. Perfect weather!!! We shopped, ate, and walked some more! Del & Mark went on a 2 hr helicopter ride over Vegas, Hoover Dam, and the Grand Canyon. They had the royal treatment as a limo picked them up and brought them back from the airport. I had said before the trip that I was going on that ride, but needless to say, after the flight to Vegas, I knew that wasn't feasible. I wasn't signing on for another anxiety attack, and take away from Del enjoying the sights! So I enjoyed my time on the ground, and loved looking at the pictures Del took. Awesome!!! It would have been beautiful to see! We left Vegas Monday night-flight left there @ 1130. I was dreading this ride! But that was much better. Even a smooth landing in Winnipeg. It's a difficult thing to leave the balmy temperatures of Vegas only to come home to Winnipeg at -20. Okay, it wasn't that cold here, but it felt like it! Got home, to fall into bed and sleep. We had such a wonderful surprise when we got home-the house was immaculate!!! My wonderful niece had spent Monday tidying and cleaning my disaster. That was such an amazing gift! Thank you Michelle and Alyssa for the child care, chaffeurring and all the other stuff you did for us! And thank you to our awesome friends for the great mini-vacation! It was good to get away!

Back to reality in Barkman land-yes, its work, rink, and more of the same. I worked 3 night last week-a friend offered to work my 4th night. Boys played hockey on the weekend. Kyle had 3 games, Jayde had 4 games in 4 days. I had an Ice Dawgs game. Del is back at work every day. The cattle are getting looked after-its so exciting to see the boys being able to do chores independently!

Mom had her treatment on Wednesday-and she is feeling 'poorly'. She feels quite fatigued and worn out. She put it this way-"if you push me with your finger, I'll fall over". It's been quite challenging for her to be unable to maintain a lifestyle shes accustomed to. She's been the Energizer Bunny all these years, and now she's frustrated with the weakness. Dad is still having some difficulties coping. So tough for him to see his best friend struggling!

I'm gearing up to work the next 3 days. It will go by in a flash. Ice Dawgs game tomorrow evening, Kyle's School Christmas Concert on Thursday evening, and 2 Christmas parties on Friday evening. Yes, these will all be attended after work! Thank goodness for Saturday! And no hockey on Saturday, surprisingly enough! As Del said, "it will be a good work day on the farm"! Oh, YAY!!!

8 sleeps till Jayde's surgery. He is not nervous, and I'm not either, yet! My fingers are crossed for no last minute cancellations. Let's get'er over with!

Today is the day to get out the Christmas Tree. So, I'm off to it-Have a good week!

Less than a month till Christmas.

My last 5 days in a nutshell-worked 48 hours, grey cup party, Del's work Christmas party, Ice Dawgs game, and a few hours of sleep. I'm on a week off from work, and I can't afford to crawl back into bed this morning. I have a hair appt this morning, and I need to shop groceries and stop and see my mom, and then I need to come home to do laundry, clean, and cook. BECAUSE...........tomorrow, Del & I are going away for the weekend, with some friends. A short, wonderful trip to the colorful lights of Vegas. The boys are going to stay home, with my niece, Michelle. They have a full schedule this weekend. Michelle is going to work and manage the boys lives. They have hockey games, and she is going to juggle it all. Thankfully, she has a wonderful family who is probably going to help her get it all done. Thank you Friesen family!!! Thats why I need to go grocery shopping today. So my boys can cook for themselves and Michelle. Ha ha, Michelle!! For those of you who haven't met my niece-she's awesome. I love her to pieces!! The 'older' she gets, the more fun she gets! We get to be in the same family, we get to live close to each other-for now-, and we get to work together, sometimes!! It's wonderful!
We woke up this morning to another sprinkling of snow. Sure is beautiful when all is white. Temperature is at 0 degrees, Celsius. But the wind is picking up, so the roads should be an adventure today.
Mom had her chemo yesterday. Spoke with her last night, and she sounded good. She wasn't having nausea issues at that point, so hopefully that will continue to go well. One of her best friends passed away this last week, and her funeral is on Friday. Mom is hoping to feel well enough to go to it. I have to stop by mom and dads today to sort out her pills before I leave.
I have to brag about my family this morning. This house was 'looked' after on my marathon of days at work. My boys have stepped up and taken care of things for me so I don't have to play maid when I get home. Kyle was so sweet the other night. Jayde had a hockey game on Friday evening, and I thought we were all going to go to it. Well, Kyle told me he was going to stay home, and clean up for me. He actually said, "I'll do laundry, clean out the dishwasher and clean up the living room, and you go with Jayde." I know, I better appreciate it while I get it. Of course, he did want to play on the computer and watch TV. We were thinking that when we'd get home, he's say, oh, I forgot about ........., but no, he had done what he said he would, and then he'd gone on to the computer. Am I ever blessed! Yes, they are still normal teenage boys, and their rooms are a disaster, but at least I get some help out of them. Talking about room disasters, oh, boy, they better clean them tonight, so their friends have a place to sleep this weekend. Yes, Michelle will also have the addition of two extra boys this weekend. Jayde and Kyle's two friends are coming over, cuz their parents are going to Vegas as well. These are a wonderful combination of kids. They will be fine. It's a bit of an awkward age for going away. They are old enough to take care of their own needs, but not old enough to get about. And not old enough to be responsible for 'the big things'. But, it is wonderful to go away and know they can look after things reasonably well.
Happy American Thanksgiving! The biggest celebration and shopping weekend, south of the border! And we get to be a part of it. I'm so excited!!
I'm off to carry on my day-Have a wonderful weekend!

the verdict is in.......

let's just get it out of the way!!! I spoke with moms oncology nurse today, and they finally received the comparative CT results. It was a positive review. Chemo must be helping. The metastatic areas have decreased in size. That is wonderful news. Mom will now go ahead with 2 more rounds of chemo. She was quite encouraged by this news, and is ready to re-start chemo. My dad was very happy. He's been so impatient-waiting for those results. It's so hard to wait!!!! So I would imagine she will be at chemo again next week.



Moving on.....the boys and I spent the evening at the rink. The boys were at practice, and then there was a Midget game. It's my week to work at the canteen. What an awesome week to get! This was the only game scheduled. Don't know how our group got so lucky, but I'm sure we'll make up for it on our next week! (We have to do 2 weeks of canteen duty if our kids are involved in hockey or figure skating.) Worked the canteen with two other couples and we had a good time, working and visiting. Great to catch up on everyones lives. Del went to watch a AAA hockey game in town. By the time the boys and i got home, he was snoring. The boys dropped into bed, and I'm winding down on the computer.



So, on Monday morning, I was so motivated to get alot done in the house. My mental list went something like this-paperwork, laundry, bake, clean.........And I got a good start on that list. I answered the phone at around 945, and I was cleaning up the living room. I happened to glance up and out our front window, just as a cattle truck was driving by. Really slow. I happened to mention to Andrea-hmmmm, that truck couldn't be coming here, cuz we're not expecting it, but its going so slow, I wonder if they are picking up our cattle and no one told us. Not 10 seconds later, I heard the long distance call waiting beep on the line. I switched over to it, and a male voice asks if it Del Barkmans home. I say yes, and he asks if hes at the right place. I ask him all the particulars. He informs me hes picking up cattle, and was sent by our cattle buyer. So, I knew Del had spoken with our cattle buyer, but the guy had not called us to inform us of what was going on. So, I'm imagining loading cattle by myself, cuz Del was going to be on the road for work. I called his work, and fortunately for me, He was still there. So, he had to come home. We set up gates and such, and then we loaded cattle. And a bull. Yes, I landed in the 'muck' many times over. I slid down a hill of 'muck, and landed on my front side. I jumped over a fence, and landed on my back side, to avoid a run in with the bull. Let's say by the time we were done loading, I was covered in crap. Literally!!! When I got in, I was so tempted to blog immediately and vent about the joys of farming!!! Instead I hit the shower, threw in another load of laundry, and got to have lunch with Del. Lucky me!!! And, another job taken care of, without any anticipating. By the way, apparently those cattle were sent thru the auction ring yesterday. I don't want to know how they did. Some days I really hate farming!!! It seems like there are way more hate days than love days lately. Don't think you want to hear me rant about the injustices of farming right now!

A friend of mine lost a 33 year old sister to leukemia, yesterday. She had been diagnosed one month ago. This family had lost a 6 yr old son to leukemia 2 yrs ago. She leaves behind a husband and a 6 yr old son. A young man- in Jayde's class at school-his mom is missing for the last 4 days. Mother of 5 children. This young man has had to be a 'parent' for many years already. Okay-now where is the justice in all this?? How do people move on from these travesties? it's one thing as an adult to cope, but how are children and teenagers supposed to deal with tragedy? How much does God send someone's way?? When is it enough?
Kind of puts our lives into perspective. Life is a gift. Family and friends are gifts. They are precious and irreplaceable. Treasure and value them. Live life to the fullest. (Doesn't mean to be an idiot, tho!!)

Don't know if I've mentioned this before. Jayde is scheduled for plastic surgery on Dec. 17. Hopefully this will be his last reconctructive surgery. This is an attempt to 'redo' some of the previous work from 2 years ago. They will try to remove some scar tissue, and then do a skin lift to try to equalize the sizing of his left eye to his right eye. I hope for his sake that this will be a success. He doesn't feel the need for this, but I'd rather have this done now, before it becomes a self esteem issue. I remember shortly after his accident, when his face was bruised, battered, and rather gruesome-he wanted to hide. And yes, that would have been the easy way out. But, the stubborn mother that I am, told him to wear his face-stitches, scars, bruises, and mishapen areas-with pride. I told him it was a story of true courage and bravery. And then, I struggled with thinking I was too hard on him. Should I have eased up and let him feel sorry for himself??? I was so afraid of the emotional scars that this could create. Looking back today, I'm so glad we were tough with him. He seems to have managed so well. But, I don't want him to ever develop a complex about his issues. I actually get really angry when he makes fun of when people stare at him as if he's scary. He may be joking but I still wonder if deep down he hurts about it. He is so not a sensitive kid, but it worries me that his joking and bravado cover up for some inner need to look better. So, in a nutshell, thats why he's having the surgery now. :-) I am so proud of Jayde. He was my hero after his accident. I will never forget his extreme bravery and trust when he was hurt and in the midst of the craziness. I will always admire his ability to be strong and sensitive at the same time. He cared about the people around him, and how they were coping, even when we weren't sure how things would turn out. Okay, I have tears streaming down my face-it must be time for me to go to sleep!!!-but truly, I'm so proud of my son, for his ability to overcome adversity, and maintain a positive attitude! And I'm so grateful that both boys are safe, that they've maintained a close bond through the years, and that they look out for each other continously. They are a blessing from God!!!
On that note-please hug your kids tight! Enjoy the time you have with them, even at the rink! :-) Appreciate your parents and siblings. Time together is quality time spent.

6 weeks till Christmas!!

Can you believe it??? It's Nov. 12 already???!!! Where does time go?? I've been at home once in awhile this last week, but it seems the computer is one of the last places I end up at! :-) What has this family been doing?? Hmmm, let me think. Work, school, hockey, work, school, hockey,.....once in a while someone cooks, bakes, cleans, and does laundry, and then its work, school, and hockey........I've actually had some days off, but they've not been at home much. I've taken a couple of vehicles in for some much needed tire replacements. I went to the city last week with my parents for moms oncologist appt. That was interesting! The CT results had not come back. So, it was difficult to make any definitive plans regarding chemo. (Yes, we're still waiting to hear from them!) By the way, my dad does not do waiting well!! My mom was quite anxious over the fact she is losing more weight. I guess thats something that she feels is indicative of her disease process.
This last Saturday & Sunday, Del & I had the interesting experience of 'going north' with the Ice Dawgs team. The bus left town at 9 am on Saturday morning, and arrived at our destination by 5 pm. Had a couple of hours for supper and warm up and the young men played a game at 8. Then after the game, it was back on the bus for another hour ride to our night destination. Sunday morning it was breakfast at 10, and the game at 130. Supper followed the game, and on the road home at 6. Arrived back in town at 145 am. Those poor city kids who didn't get in until 4 am!!! Must have been a tough day at work and university for them. It was fun to go on a road trip with the crew. Plenty of time to get to know more about the young men who love the game of hockey. Interesting to see what drives different people. Everyone has a story, you know!!! And everyone needs to feel like there's someone ready to be there and listen! I have to say, being the one female among 27 males, there was no doubt I would be cared for! They are an awesome bunch of young men. Respectful and caring for the needs of the people around them. The arenas and facilities we were in were also cared for. Clean and well maintained. But, the ride was long!! Trees upon trees upon trees. Long stretches of road with nothing but trees. Can't say I'd want to go up there very often, never mind live up there. Imagine where you'd end up if you'd drive the 8 hours to the west, east, or the south!! But, I went north, and I'm glad I got to go! Michelle stayed home with the boys and ensured they were cared for. A big thank you to Dale and Dennis, for hauling the boys to and from their games on Saturday. Sunday, Michelle took them to the local rink. Yes, the boys hockey schedules, have two games scheduled per weekend. That does make it fairly busy.
Yesterday, a day off for everyone. A time of remembrance. A time for respect. What a day to show honor to those who have fought, and those that are still fighting for freedom. I'm not a typical conservative here. I have extreme respect for those who have fought wars. It must take extreme courage and love for your country, to serve it in this way. Would I want to send my boys??? No, but I don't think any parent wants to send their kids into a danger zone. I do appreciate, salute, and have deep gratitude for those that have served and fought for our freedom. To those that are now fighting for someone elses freedom, we are indebted. It's difficult for me to imagine the horrors that people go thru on a daily basis, in this modern age.

Yesterday was also my 2 nieces birthdays. Twins actually. Alyssa and Michelle. 23 years???!!! I remember the day they were born. Blustery day-light snow, wind-was the last combining day of that wet year!! These two girls are such a blessing!!!! I am so proud of them. They are as close as I'm going to get to having girls. Great attitudes, hard working, positive, ........ and they even get passed off as my sisters!! Lucky me! I know both of them read this-so-girls, you are the best! You are both special is so many different ways. I love you both very much!!!! Yeah, you can bring out the Kleenex now!!

The boys had their first parent teacher conference of the year, this evening. Well, lets say that nothing really changes with my two. Gym-top of the class. Neatness and organization-not the top of the class. And, both of them are having issues with English/language arts. Not surprising. It's not my strong suit, and I'm supposed to find a way to encourage them with it!! Del and I will have to come up with a plan to motivate both of them to spend a little more time on essays, stories, and other writing projects. It's so easy to take the easy way out and then in the end, you wish you'd actually checked for spelling and grammatical errors. Grrrr. Guess those extra minutes would be helpful. Okay, I also admit, that I expect a fair bit from the kids. Sometimes, I even expect too much. Yeah, I'm a type A personality. But, if you don't push them to do well, and expect them to do their best, who will???? :-) I try to be very careful on not pushing too hard, and definitely not comparing the two boys. They are both very different and very much the same, all at the same time. Both unique. And they don't need to be reminded of how the other is doing. They do enough of that on their own!
I'm getting long winded........
Today, I was in the city with a good friend. Had an awesome time.

Thank you Andrea-for being an awesome friend!
Thank you Linda-for the best walk the other night!!
Thank you Michelle-for being an amazing neighbour, 'baby-sitter', and fellow employee!
Thank you Beth-for the sweet texts you send my way, and your honesty.

Family is so special. I don't ever want to take my husband and boys for granted. God blessed me with an amazing family. Del, Jayde, and Kyle-I am so grateful for each of you!! I love you dearly!!

Wants vs. Needs

Good morning everyone. It's Saturday morning, the sun is kind-of shining, and we actually had a sleep-in at our house. That's pretty special. Today is going to be an action packed day of hockey. We were going to move some more cattle home this morning, but we concluded we might not have enough time before we're off to the rinks. Del did go set up panels and gates in the pasture where we have to round up the animals, but the actual chase and ride home might have to wait. The boys hockey season schedules officially start with games today. And of course, in separate rinks. One goes north, the other goes west. But, fortunately for us, the boys have some close friends on their teams; so we get together on car pooling and have a great time with whoever we go with. Today its Lucas with Kyle, and Trent with Jayde. Or vice versa. Come to think of it, its usually Trent and Jayde together. Those two have played together since Jayde started years ago. And Kyle gets to play with Lucas every other year. What a blessing to have friends to hang out with. And it gets better-their parents are awesome too. Thought we'd have Blayze today-he's our other hockey son-but his grandpa gets to take him. So, what I'm trying to say is, we're very grateful for friends, adult and children.
Then tonight, its off to my hockey game. Don't get too excited. I wish I could skate, but no, I'm not playing. I get to be behind the bench once again for the Ice Dawgs. Undefeated so far this year. Hopefully they continue on that streak tonight!!! They play tonight and tomorrow afternoon. Then, Tuesday, at home, and next weekend on the road. They're up north next weekend. I don't usually go on the road with them, but I think next weekend, Del & I will join them for the trip up north. I've never been that far north, and they need someone to go along to help with medical stuff. So they leave Saturday morning, drive all day, play saturday evening and Sunday afternoon, and then they're back Sunday night, late.

I survived my four days of work last weekend. My goodness, we had some busy days there! Think I earned my paycheck!! Wed and Thurs, I spent catching up at home. Friday, i went to town for an inservice, which didn't happen, and then back home for farm paperwork. After Del came home from work, we went to one of our pastures, and rounded up some cattle and brought them home. It actually worked well. Then my parents were over for supper, and they and Rol and Laureen, Alyssa, and STacey, joined us for cake and ice cream last night. We were celebrating Jayde's birthday a little late. He's not been home for an evening, since before his birthday, over a week ago. He has been busy with youth, hockey, and volleyball. His volleyball team went to Zones on Thursday, and lost by 2 points in the finals. So close!!!! He says he played well. He loves his sports!!! So now volleyball is done, and he can focus on hockey. And school! Can't forget that. Kyle has one more week of volleyball left. His final tournament is next Thursday.

How spoiled are we and our children?? This is the question we've been discussing as friends and at work. It's hard for us to imagine the plight of others around the world. I think statistically we are 99% wealthier than others. Hmmm, now thats food for thought. If we are that 'wealthy', and you consider the people you know who have so much more, then think of how little the other 98% has. It seems our needs are a little shallow. Our wants have become our needs. Makes me wonder if we're not enabling our children to appreciate what they have. How do we teach our kids to appreciate what they have, and make sure they don't think their wants are their needs. How do I ensure my boys respect and appreciate their 'comfy' lifestyle??? How do I ensure they catch on to 'earning' their wants? I for one don't want to raise some 'spoiled brats'. I want the kids to feel great self worth in what they become and what they accomplish. I want them to know what they have is a privilege, and not a right. Somedays I question if we go about this the right way.

Mom had her Ct scan on Thursday. Have to mention how grateful I am to my family for all their help this week. Dad had his cataract removed on Tuesday, had a follow up appt. on Wed, and moms CT on Thurs-and I did not have to go to any of them. Talk about a holiday for me!!!! Thanks to Rol and Laureen, Anita, and Alyssa. So, it must be my turn to take mom for her oncologist appt on Wed. This is the day we see the CT results, and the decision is made to continue or stop chemo. Yes, it will be a big day!!

Can you believe it??? My boys are both up and out of bed. Guess I better drum up an adequate breakfast/lunch for them. They're going to need as much energy as possible for their afternoon games! Have an awesome fall weekend.
Go Bombers Go!!!

Work......and more work!

No, i have not disappeared off the face of the earth. I've been busy. Sometimes I'm not sure what I'm doing to keep busy, but I am. The days are going by like crazy, and just to bug all of you-it's only 2 months till Christmas! But, we're not counting, are we??!
The last couple weeks have been filled with a little of everything. Firstly lets deal with work. Yes, I am now working full-time for the winter. I've picked up shifts for this month to work full-time, and next month, starting mid November, I'm the one and only one in my position. Hmmm, how will this go??? I'm not sure, but so far so good. My husband and boys have picked it up at home and its going well. They are fairly self sufficient. And, for me, I actually slept for 5 1/2 hrs after one night shift. For me, thats quite something! I don't sleep well during the day after I've worked nights. So, I am gearing up for 4-12 hr days starting tomorrow, and then I'll have 8 days off. That's the price you pay with 12 hour shifts and wanting consecutive days off.
Then there's hockey-I am back as trainer for the Ice Dawgs. I love volunteering for this team. It gives me a great position for watching the best sport in this country. What better place to watch the game, than from the bench. And, I get to meet some awesome kids, playing the game they love. Jayde and Kyle attended a hockey camp last weekend. Thankfully, it was local, and driving wasn't a big issue. They started their winter season this week as well.
The boys are still playing volleyball at school, and that means only one more week of early morning and after school practices and games. Jayde has a tournament tomorrow and next Thursday. Kyle has a tournament coming up, but doesn't know when it is.
Jayde turned 14 on Wednesday. This child is growing up beyond his years. And sometimes we need to remind him that he is not the adult in this home. Sometimes it may seem like he's more grown up, :-), but he is still our firstborn!!
It's also meant time on the farm needs to be spent getting ready for winter. Del has been setting up panels, trying to 'catch' the animals out on pasture, and bring them home. Sometimes its easier said than done. Field work has kind of ground to a halt-it's just not that easy to work the stubble into the fields when there's more water and muck than dry dirt. Today was an awesome day for working outside. I actually went for a walk, and then I pulled my flowers. Probably the last double digit temperature day for awhile!
It's also 3 months tonight since Katelyn's passing. That thought is followed by an incredible amount of emotion. Reality is, she is just not here. As I was pulling flowers today, I was reminded of the last time I saw her. She was at our house for our family get together in July. And she was lounging around outside, just relaxing and enjoying the fine day we had together. I'm so grateful for the memories of that day. Our lives may go on, but she will always be suspended in time, young and vivacous, looking forward to her future, and all it was going to offer her.
My mom is doing quite well. She has completed Round 2 of Chemo, and tolerated it much better than round 1. Chemo will be held off now until a CT is had, and an appt with her oncologist, the first week of Nov. My dad is getting ready for cataract surgery next Tuesday. They are getting out a bit, and having alot of company.
I'm cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and now I'm off to do some baking before Del is home from work. He wants me to help him outside so I have to finish my 'inside' work. Jayde is off at a Youth function in the city, and Kyle went to visit Nathan after school. Just Del and I for the next couple of hours. Wonder how much we can get done......

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! For me, its Monday morning. I just got off working 2 nights, and i slept this morning. So, for me its now Morning, get it??? I know, for someone who doesn't work shift work, it just doesn't make sense! I have a bun dough rising on the counter. I'm trying to catch up on housework and laundry today, as the rest of the week looks rather full. Tuesday-in the city with mom for an oncology appt, and a concert in the evening. Wednesday-I have an all day inservice at work. Thursday & Friday-back at work. Next weekend, the boys have volleyball and hockey, and I have hockey on Saturday evening. Now this last week, lets see.... my memory is failing. I sat with mom for an afternoon at chemo, on Wednesday. We had a wonderful time-chatting, visiting with the nurse, shopping by catalogue, reading, and such. Mom seemed to tolerate the treatment quite well. The rest of the week, hmmmm, I hauled some bales, read, visited with friends, hockey game on Friday, and the regular stuff. The week went too quickly. Those weeks off of work always go too quickly! Yesterday, we went to Del's parents for lunch and the afternoon. Had the traditional meal there, chicken, potatoes, coleslaw, applesauce, gravy, corn, fresh brown bread, and of course, pumpkin pie for dessert. I even had my traditional afternoon nap there!Here we are at thanksgiving weekend. The time set aside each year to be thankful. I guess its nice to focus on it once in a awhile, but I'm thinking we should focus on it all the time. I find it easy to complain-but theres always someone who has got it going a little worse than I. I was catching up with a friend the other night, and we were comparing the sucky year we were having-his sounded even worse than mine! How much loss is someone suppose to be able to handle??? So, I need to write a thankful list for me. Here it goes--friends-near and far, thru thick and thin-family-yes, we've gotten closer this year. we are not divided, we are unified.-extended family-yes, relationships have re-established-Del, Jayde, & Kyle-they are the best. What a blessing they are to me!!!-home and such......-job-ya, some days It doesn't feel like a blessing, but it is!-beautiful fall foliage-it's been awesome this year!!!-and, I guess I need to be thankful for the water we have-yes, there's plenty of it to be thankful for!This list is never ending. There are so many things to be thankful for. And this list is not prioritzed in any form. They are all so important!I wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving! I wish you all plenty of quality time with family. I also wish all of you a safe and peaceful week!I'm off to put the bun dough on pans. Then I've put it off long enough-gotta get the garage cleaned out for winter!!!

early thanksgiving

My mom-looking wonderful
My 'new' cousin, Kathi, husband, Gerald, and Abigail, Brittany, & Jen
My brother, Roger, rotovating my garden area
Kyle, cutting grass in front of the house
part of the front yard-awesome fall colors!
My big boy, Jayde
Sunday afternoon walk-Alyssa, Michelle, Stacey, Beth, & Anita
My sister, Vicky, my mom & dad
Beth, my mom, & Jessica
Anita, and my wondeful Husband, Del

A week has passed.......filled, of course! We have finished combining and baling straw, boys have had volleyball, Del & I have gone to work regularily, etc......... Mom had her bloodwork repeated, which looked alot better, in prep for chemo again on wednesday. Jayde spent Saturday on the field, deep-tilling. I got to work at home on Saturday, cooking and such. Regular stuff. Sunday, the Friesen family got together to celebrate Thanksgiving. My 2 oldest nephew and their families couldn't attend, but everyone else was there, along with my 'new' cousin, Kathi, her husband, Gerald, and their girls-Abigail, Brittany, & Jen. What a good time was had. Excellent food. Great visiting. Went on an awesome walk around the gravel pits.(we were at Rog & Anita's). Took alot of pictures! My dad wanted to sing together, and I have to admit I offended him by telling him some people didn't really want to sing. We listened to Alyssa play the piano, and Roger played along with the guitar. That was beautiful. I don't know what everyone else was thinking, but my thoughts went something like this: Missing Kate, pondering moms next few months, and really appreciating the family around you. Listening to music, for me, is like speaking to your inner soul. I know everyone doesn't have this feeling, but its almost universal. There is something about music that reaches deep down and touches the outer and inner aspects of you, and makes you feel and think things that you don't allow yourself to go to normally. The music that Alyssa and Rog created yesterday was like listening to heaven itself. Could you just imagine Katleyn being in on that? Her spirit of love was present. Or transcending peace to everyone. The blessing of time given. The blessing of time together. The blessing of family. Take it and hold on. Treasure it. A gift, accept it with gratefulness.

I received my package from my aunt. Last week, Del started reading the binder, and Saturday evening he finished it. My husband, the guy who has never read a book, read all 62 pages. I waited until this morning to start it. And now, I don't want to do my work at home. Once you start , you want to get to the ending. I've read half today. Now I have to get some work done in my house.

It's raining once again. I'm so glad we finished combining. What a relief. It's been a frustrating year of farming, once again. The crop proved to be below average in yield and quality. Not quite the results we were looking for with the high input cost required in putting it in the ground. Time will tell as how this will turn out.....

update to harvest

Check out the blue sky!!!

My job, baling straw.

Del, straight combining oats.

Dumping oats on the grain trucks.
Common sight this fall-too much rain.
My other job, hauling and unloading grain.

Del combining barley.

Got thru my nights last week-Tues & Wed. Thursday, hmmmm, I helped Del in the afternoon-stuff in the yard. Thursday evening, we finally had the hockey meeting that was supposed to have been on Tuesday evening. Friday, I was at work from 830-130 for an inservice. back home after that for a bit and then we went to pick up the boys from school and off to the city. We actually went to watch the Bombers football game. Had a great time up in the nose bleed section, with northern gale force winds. Yes, we dressed appropriately. Then we picked up Alyssa, and home we went. Saturday, we farmed. Back in the field, combining. And I hauled grain. My dad came for a few hours in the afternoon, to haul grain, so I got some yardwork and house work done. Then he left at supper and it was all mine again. Del & I saw a mother bear with 3 cubs on Saturday evening on our oats field. I've never seen that before. Sunday, we actually went to church. It's been so long. Then for lunch and the afternoon, we went to Rog & Anita's. My 'southern' cousin was out with her family. We had a wonderful time together. I even got my toe nails done by Kelly! Very special!! Then, in the evening, Del, I, and the boys had a quiet evening at home. Wow, that was awesome!!! Hardly knew what to do. This morning I was back at work. Worked a 12 hr day today, and again tomorrow. Then I'm off for a few days. Hopefully we can finish combining this week. The weather today was not cooperating with that wish though. Looked cloudy and a high of 10 or something. Bring on the sun!!!


My mom has had some issues with bloody noses, so she had blood work done today. Her white count and platelets were a little low, but thats expected at this stage of chemo. Time will tell......

Family

And the broken record continues.........Saturday, on the fields. Actually, I baled straw most of the day. My dad came to haul grain for us till supper time, and then he had to go home. Then I took over hauling grain. I actually got a few bales done. Del had me move from one field to the one where he was combining, so I could haul grain as well. That field was a little more damp! I actually had a fair bit of trouble baling there. The ruts from the combine made it difficult for the baler to pick up the straw, and then it got wet enough in areas, so I had trouble driving. The front wheel assist on the tractor had to work hard to get thru. I ended up leaving parts of swaths, cuz I just couldn't drive there. Sunday, I got a break off the farm. While Del stayed home to combine, I went to the city. I was going to take my city nephews and nieces for lunch, but only one was in the city. So, Alyssa and I went for lunch, and then we went grocery shopping. I had her back at home by 3, so I could be at the rink close to the city by 330, for a hockey game. First exhibition game of the season for the Ice Dawgs. We won, 8-5!! I left the rink on an adrenaline high. Great group of kids playing, coaching was positive, and we won-nice start to the season. Del made it in by 1130. Pm, that is. Monday, Del went to work, and the boys off to school. The forecast was for rain and the sky was overcast first thing in the morning. I had a wonderful day at home. Had a nap first thing in the morning, read a little, and then got motivated. Cleaned, baked buns and cinnamon buns, and cooked supper. Roger & Anita, Nathan & Beth, and my parents came for supper. I made a traditional Mennonite meal for us. Baked sausage, Wareniki-(cottage cheese perogies), and cucumber salad. Anita even made schmont faut. (gravy for the perogies). Had fresh buns with main meal, and then had carrot cake, cinnamon buns, and a caramel torte for dessert. No, I didn't make all that. Mom brought the torte, and Anita had made fresh carrot cake. Had a wonderful evening visiting together. I even flushed my dads ears for him, again. He's got issues with wax build-up!! And, we didn't have any rain by last night. But, this morning we woke up to find it had rained 7/10 of an inch, with more predicted to come. Puddles in the yard once again. Not that the yard was dry yet! We have approx. 200 acres left to combine, and thankfully its all standing grain. Hopefully we'll get a couple more good days of dry/sunshiny weather! This morning, I had Jayde at school by 730 for volleyball practice. He has games after school today. Don't know what time he'll be done. I have a PAC mtg at 7-which I'm giving up the chairperson position. Then, supposedly we have a hockey mtg at 8. Then I go to work for an 8 hr night-starting at 11.
In a past blog I referred to my moms childhood issues, and one of my aunts sent me a letter about her take on it. And I said I'd blog further about it some time. So, Last evening, I quizzed my mom about her homelife as a child. And I came away with info I'd never known before. She doesn't volunteer any of this information very willingly. She has always kept her childhood very 'hush-hush'. She told us about how family services had stepped in and taken her siblings when they were very little. And then brought them back again after a few months, to try and make it work out. I didn't know they had been taken twice. I also didn't know moms siblings had not been taken at the same time. They didn't take all the kids. Only some of them. And when they finally took my mom-she was the last to be taken out of the home, cuz she was the oldest at 13-they picked her up at school. With no explanation. They gave her the option of going to BC to family, or staying in MB. She chose to stay in MB, where she would be close to her siblings. But, apparently she didn't get to see her siblings very often, as they were in different homes, in different towns. It wasn't that easy in those days to travel for visitation. Mom recalled how her mother stopped at church once, to persuade her to come with her, away from her foster home. Mom refused to get in her car with her, knowing what she'd be returning to. There's other details, which I won't get into, but its almost shocking to realize how much happened in the home before help came for those kids. It also shocks me that aunts, uncles, and grandparents-who lived close by-didn't step in and help out. It's no wonder to me that mom and her siblings had issues through out life, due to what happened to them as children. I feel so fortunate, and I'm amazed, how my mom was able to move on and lead a 'normal' life. To actually have a fulfilled marriage, with children, work, ..........my mom was amazing!!! But, I have to admit, I feel a little bitter. Towards moms parents. How dare parents treat their kids like that. I also have to admit that when referring to moms parents, I couldn't refer to them as grandma and grandpa. I guess for me, those terms show respect, and I didn't feel they deserved them. You see, my moms father, did have a relationship with us, before he died. He would visit us occasionally on the farm. He'd bring candy and such. I guess he tried at that point. But moms mother, she didn't quite make that effort. I had met her a few times. Once I remember an aunt stopping in to see her when I was along. Once I think my mom stopped to see her. But there was no 'mothering' by her. To me she seemed a bitter old woman, who didn't seem to care about her family. Before you jump all over my comments, these are only my opinions, not those of anyone else. I haven't asked others what they felt! Anyway, its a lesson to me in the influence you have on the people around you. The impact on your children, well, its lifelong. A parental love, unconditional, is so important!! Also, I'm so proud of my mom for stopping the cycle of abuse, and moved beyond her poor examples. She has done an amazing job of being a mother, without anyone showing her how it was done. No, she wasn't perfect, no one is!! But she did a heck of a job, being the best parent she could be!!!
To my aunt Violet-I'd love to read a copy of what you've written about your childhood. If you have a copy somewhere, and could mail it, it would make my day. I've always been intrigued about what others felt about this home, and would love to have insight into your childhood.
Yeah, I have a mind thats curious about peoples thoughts and actions. I like to figure out what makes them tick. I love to listen to people.
Now, for a thankful list for today-husband, sons, extended family, friends, sunshine-somewhere-, warm bed, fresh buns, clean laundry, a good book, a job (sometimes!)........there's so much!

Oh, yeah. Mom goes for her cyclical Day 8 treatment today. It's only 2 hours at the hospital for her today. Dad is taking her apparently. Considering everything, she's holding up. Very tired, very nauseated at times, but managing.

Harvest of '08

The thing about blogging is, you have to remain politically correct. -kind of, right??
This week-let's see, it's been busy.
Monday-combining and hauling grain. Yes, we did get the combine going by noon. Was rather interesting trying to lift the combine to put the wheel on. But a combination of the loader tractor lifting the combine with chains, and putting boards/support underneath the back axle, and doing it over many times, yes, we did get it done!! We stopped early in the evening to go visit Rog & Anita. Had a wonderful time with them. Relaxed and visited. Love my family!
Tuesday-combining and hauling grain. Dad took mom for her first chemo appt. She had to be there by 930 and was done by 530. She is on a combination therapy of two drugs to fight the cancer, along with all the other meds to deal with the side effects. She tolerated it alright and made it home to have a snack and drop into bed. She's quite tired. Since then, she's dealt with a fair bit of nausea, dizziness, hot/cold flashes, headaches, and some pain. Meds are wonderful, aren't they? Tuesday evening, Del & went to visit good friends of ours. So good to meet and have a good time together. Oh, yeah, had Jayde at school by 730 for volleyball practise.
Wednesday-I got to go to work for a 12 hr day. The boys were at school, and Del was left on his own to farm. He actually got the straight cut header attached to the combine and combined some canola. Worked quite well. He did a patch that was too wet to swath regularily. He managed fine, until he finished the field and was trying to drive across the field to come home. He had to drive thru a water/swamp/ wet patch, and he swamped the combine. How fortunate for him and me, I had just gotten home from work. I changed from my work uniform into farming gear. Actually it was farming and swamp gear. How often do we don tall rubber boots in harvest??? Went to the field with the Versatile 4WD, tow rope and chain. And Del's boots, too. Got there, and I was so blessed, my brother, Rol, showed up right on time to help. Saved my day, and Del's. I watched the two of them hook up the apparatus, and tow the combine out of its hole. Too bad it wasn't daylight, or I'd have gotten pictures. (That reminds me, I was going to take pics of the wheel off the combine, but I was so caught up in the fixing, I forgot the camera!)
Thursday-we moved on over to a field of oats. Combined and hauled grain. Actually, in the morning I cleaned the house, did laundry, baked muffins, ........ and then I put on my farming hat. I've hauled the grain, as its easier if Del does the combining in the mud holes. I don't want to swamp it. I did get stuck with the grain truck on Tuesday. Twice. On grass. It's just soft underneath and with the truck full of grain it sinks down. Del had to tow/push the truck for me, with the combine!
Today-we went for breakfast. We were on the road by 745. The kids did not have school today, and we all went. Then we went to mom and dads for a bit. Things seemed alright there. I sorted out moms meds. I organized all her pills into a pill box. Yes, we've resorted to this. It's just easier for her to manage with this box, and that way its straight forward for me to explain to her what to take. Then, Del and I went back to harvest. Still straight combining oats. Had some breakdowns today. A shaft keeps busting, and Del is welding it, but it doesn't want to hold. Quit early and came home. Got to make a better fix for it tomorrow morning. The boys did their list of jobs today. Can't have them at home sitting around. The deal was-finish the list and you may watch the Bomber game in the evening. The list got done.
What else can I say?? I'm tired. I've dropped into bed every night, but I don't actually remember going to bed. One morning, @ 4 am, I woke up to find my glasses on the blanket, with a book laying on the floor. I guess I fell asleep reading. Must be the time of year.
I've not written much about my job issues, but those of you close to me, know I've had to deal with the prospect of losing my job. I have a job-sharing position, which I've shared equally with my partner. My partner moved in August, and the other half of my job has been posted. I do have first dibs on this half, if I wanted. I prefer to work half time, so I waited to see who would take the other half. No takers. So I started phoning people who might be interested. No takers. So my employer then gave me the option of taking the job full time, or it would be posted full time, and if someone applied for it, they would get it and I'd be out of a job. Tough spot to be in. I just didn't know if I could manage all the aspects of our lives with working full-time. But, thankfully, another friend/former job sharing partner, agreed, on Tuesday morning, to work the half-time position, if I would fill in for her shifts for 4 months during winter, when she goes 'south'. So I agreed. That is one way of saving my job, having her work with us again which will be wonderful, and I'll have a darn good income for a few months. You won't see much any where else, but you'll certainly know where I'll be! So, in a nutshell, I'm relieved. I need the job, I need the income, and I certainly am not interested in finding another job at the present time, if I don't have to. All those uears in one facility and it came down to that!!!
I'm off to read a good book. Hmmmm, wonder how long I'll read tonight??

It's 330-in the morning!

Why the heck am I posting at this time of day?? Let my lesson be a lesson for all of you-DON'T DECIDE IT'S SUPPER TIME AT MIDNIGHT, AND BBQ AND EAT A BURGER! With our crazy schedule, that is what happened last evening, and my body is not agreeing with this plan. So I'm distracting myself! :-)
What is occupying my mind today?? What have we been doing since last post?? Well, harvest is in full swing at our farm. As full swing as you can get it this year. As I worked Thursday and Friday night, Del was kind of left on his own to manage combining and the grain hauling. So whats the solution to the situation? You involve the kids, of course. So Jayde has taken on some new roles this summer. He is now the main chaueffer from field to field. And he has also taken on the role of 'grain unloader'. Del took him through the steps of unloading the grain trucks on Thursday evening. So Friday, I picked up Jayde at school at 1145, and he came home to unload the trucks. I went to the field to pick up the grain truck, brought it home, and Jayde would take care of unloading. Great system. So when I left for work again in the evening, they were on their own. Kyle has taken on the role of 'house boss'. He is in charge of meals when I'm away, and doing family laundry, yardwork, and 'cleaner-upper'. (Till I get home and tidy up behind him!) Saturday morning, Del took Jayde to his last tryouts session while I grabbed a couple hours of shut-eye. When I got up, I was off to Ice Dawgs training camp/tryouts, close to the city. For those of you that don't know, I volunteer as the trainer/safety person for the local Junior B hockey team. This is my third year in this role. I 'do' the home games and a couple of away games that I can fit in with my interesting schedule. So, training camp has begun. It was good to see the returning faces, and meeting new ones. This is my extended family of children. The young men are ages 17-21. They come from different communities and backgrounds. They've taught me great deal about people and life. They're my 'older boys'. Its quite interesting to be their listening ear, as they deal with girlfriends, jobs, university, and family. For the most part, they're a great bunch of respectful young men. Ok, Saturday afternoon was spent there. I made it home around 7 and straight to the field to get the full grain truck-got to put on my farming hat. Then when the trucks were caught up by 830, I got into the house and cooked supper. MMMM, it was good. Sunday morning, Del & I went to an auction sale. I stayed for a couple of hours before I left for training camp again. Del stayed a little longer and bought me a couple treats. He bought us 2 accordions. An old one, and an even older one! And 2 antique radios-I plugged in one and it even works. I haven't had a chance to try the accordians yet. I bought an antique record player before I left. It's portable and looks like an old suitcase. I love old stuff like that-I'd love to have a rec room with a wall of stuff like that! Got home from training camp last evening, to once again head out and unload a grain truck and take it back to the field.
When I got to the field, it timed out perfectly for me to go for a ride on the combine with Del. Perfect time to chat and catch up. And bring Del a cold Pepsi! We did one bin full and dumped. We started on the the second bin full, and picked up the longest swath of the field, and when we got to the extreme end of the field, we felt a bump. Oh, oh. What was that? My first thought was, 'Thats a big rock, but why would it be here??" Del said 'we lost a wheel" I don't know how he knew, but we climbed out and sure enough, one of the back tires of the combine had fallen off. (I was going to post this tomorrow, along with a picture. But you're getting the story ahead of the picture) So, lucky for us, Jayde was home again, and we got him to come get us with the four wheeler, as it was a long mile walk in the dark. Man I had a good laugh on the ride back, all three of us on the 4wheeler! Through puddles and mud. Bonding, or what! Anyway, Del concluded the fix shouldn't be that hard, New Bolts. Hopefully the tractor and loader will be able to lift the back axle, as the field is so soft, that jacks and beams will have a tough time in that spot. We are so grateful the the 4 wheel drive on the combine. Tough go without it!
So a liitle earlier quitting time than expected. Then I spent 2 hours on the phone. Del gave up on finding anything good to eat, and that brings us to why I'm blogging at this ridiculous hour!
Politics-who is tired of hearing about the election, Canadian or American?? Turn on the radio, and what do you hear?? Buy a paper, and what do you read? Do you think the politicians actually think we believe their promises? Why is so much money available at election time? I wish the whole sorry mess would disappear. But small town politics is just as bad. Yeah, I'm referring to the sorry state of hockey-for those of you who didn't get it by reading between the lines. Whats with the highway line that divides regions, that supposedly also decides whether you have a chance at playing in one spot or another? Just because your parents decide to live in one spot, you as a child have to tolerate being forced to play where you're told? Something sure smells like a political campaign! Enough said!
This week looks like a good combining week. The forecast says no rain for the next week. Yes!! So, that means fix the combine in the morning, and lets get the crop off. Hopefully, we can get a good chunk off this week. Time will tell. Mom is suppose to start chemo this week, so I imagine she'll get a phone call in the next day or two, with her appt times. I haven't talked to her over the weekend, so that must mean she's doing alright. The boys are back to school in the morning, so Del & I are on our own once again.
I'm going to try and go back to sleep. Have a great day everyone!

That's another day done with!

I'll get right to it. Everyone is wondering how did mom's appointment go. Laureen and I took mom and dad today. Did some clothes and grocery shopping-imagine clothes shopping with my dad, yeah, not good!-and then we went to the appt this afternoon. Vicky joined us at the hospital.-so good she can get off work there to join us when we need her! So, got called into the office-no weight today-and we met with the oncologist. CT results-the radiation to her mid chest was effective in alleviating some of the tumor pressure on her main airways, so she doesn't cough as much. But, the pleural lining area of cancer has increased. This area did not receive radiation. So, its a go ahead for chemo, probably starting next week. This referral for chemo will be sent to the local hospital-25 minutes away-that has a chemo department. She will be put on a 21 day cycle of chemo with day 1 and 8 receiving treatment and then 14 days off till the next round. They are suggesting 4-6 cycles of chemo. The purpose of chemo is not to take away the cancer, as it is too large, but to alleviate symptoms and give precious time. That's it in a nutshell. don't know what else to add about that subject.
Harvest/farming-Del started combining a few acres of canola last evening. Don't know what time he went out there today, as I was away, but he's out there again. No, its not dry to go into storage so its going into an aeration bin. (a bin that has air forced through the grain to prevent deterioration of quality due to moisture).
Jayde had hockey practice last evening, with tomorrow's workout rescheduled for Saturday morning. The kids will receive their final word on team selection following that skate. Tomorrow, I go back to work on night shift. The days off are over. Also, I plan to drive a dirty vehicle, cuz maybe if I don't wash them, the sun will continue to shine. Do ya' think this will work?? And no laundry on the line to dry! Superstitious or what!
I'm out of words. I'm tired. Shopping with your parents will do that to you, I guess. :-) Have a good sleep everyone.

Cancer, family, hockey, rain.......

Anyone else out there struggling on a Monday morning?? Like not motivated to get anything done? Probably just me. I sent the kids off this morning, kissed Del good-bye as he left for work, and then I wondered what do I do?? The sky is gray, the yard is mud covered in water, and what the heck do you want to get started on this fine day??? No, I'm not going to whine the whole blog long. I'm getting into a rut though. I am getting discouraged with the weather. Anyone want a refresher on the expenses incurred this spring/summer, on getting the crop into the ground? Harvest looks like its in the tank. Hmmmm, ya think the bankers are sweating yet?? :-) Farmers are certainly sweating it!!

Alright, lets change the subject. Let's talk hockey. One of my favorite subjects. It can be!! Jayde had hockey tryouts this weekend. I thought I was pretty calm and prepared heading into this weekend, but I realized yesterday, I wasn't as relaxed as I thought I was. Let me paint you a picture. Close your eyes and put yourself in the rink. There was approximately 55 kids at the rink, divided into 3 groups for the weekend. Every child spent 8 hours on the ice doing drills and scrimmages. They alternated the three groups through all the activities during the weekend. Jayde's group was on the ice Friday at 915 pm, then Saturday at 115 and again at 630. Then Sunday, he was on at 1145 and 245. His group had the last session yesterday. Anyway, the deal is that there is 1 team going to play in the city league. All these players are trying out for 17 defence/forwards, and 2 goalies. All players receive an evaluation at the end of the weekend, and a 'pass' or 'no pass' for this team. There were 3 men evaluating from the stands, and 2 people on ice who ran the on ice functions. So, the 2nd last session yesterday, (the one before Jayde's), the kids got undressed and went for their verdicts. The rink is a combination hockey/curling rink. The indoor viewing area are seperated by a kitchen and hallway. The kids were told to leave their equipment in the hockey area and to wait in the hallway, with doors at either end closed, and they would go in one by one, and discuss the weekend with the evaluators. Can you imagine??? The parents are all in the hockey viewing area, WAITING! Once the kid got their evaluation done with, they were told to exit out the curling rink doors, so the other kids wouldn't know if it was yes or no for them. Suspenseful, yes! Some kids had taken their equipment outside before they went into the hall so then didn't have to come around and back into the rink. So, I'm watching Jayde's drills and waiting with some friends while their kids are getting their results. Took forever!!! Now imagine, QUIET,, very quiet, in the rink. Parents are wondering, did he make it??? Del got to leave early with a friend and his kid. And so I was left with another parent, waiting on their kid who's a goalie. Waited, and waited some more. Del texted me to let me know our first friends kid made it. YAY!!! By now, Jayde's group is off the ice, getting changed. We're still waiting for kids from the first group. The next group is now assembling in the hallway. Finally our friends son comes into the rink to get his equipment, and we go outside with him. He's elated. He made it!! I'm so excited for him. He's telling us how everything happened in his session. Now, its to wait for Jayde. The other friends leave. To explain this, Jayde and these other two kids have played together for a long time. They're good friends. I'm thinking, Jayde's not gonna make it. He's not a flashy player. He's just a big defenceman who plays a solid game of hockey, loving every minute of it! I go wait in my truck. And wait some more. I watch the kids filter out of those curling rink doors and leave with their parents. I'm trying to read a book. Finally, I see my boy. He goes and gets his equipnment and comes to the truck. He loads it in the box and gets in the truck. I can't tell by his face, what his verdict is. I ask, "So?" His reply, "Back on Tuesday." YES! Good for him. But, its not over. All the kids who were told they made it, are coming back on Tuesday and Thursday for further evaluation, and further cuts will occur after Thursday. Oh, Man! Jayde was so excited. So, for now, a reprieve, till Thursday night. A little dramatic, eh?? Just for the crazy game of hockey.

My family was at our house on Saturday evening, to celebrate dad's 72nd birthday. Not everyone could make it. Oh, well, we celebrate anyway. Had a good time. Salads, BBQed sausage and hamburgers, chips, veggies, and black forest cake for desert. Relaxing visits. It's so good to spend time together. Mom sat on a recliner between the dining and living room. That way she could see everyone at once. The men chatting around the dining table, and the women 'gossiping' in the living room. :-) I watched my mom a fair bit. Seriously, I think she's deteriorating. She looks good for her disease, but she's gone down. She's lost some more weight, her color has changed a bit-don't know if anyone else would notice that-, she's requiring analgesics 3x/day-which doesn't take away her pain-, and she looks wiped. Maybe it was just a bad day, I don't know. I am trying to be prepared for her CT results which we get at her oncology appt this Wed. Realistically, I don't know if those results will be positive. When I look at the person in front of me, I'm preparing for bad news. Sorry, maybe I shouldn't be honest. Maybe, I should only write 'good' things. Maybe, I'm trying to overprepare myself. But, I'm being honest. I need to take her shopping for clothes on Wednesday. She has lost so much weight that she is quite limited in what she has to wear. So off to the store we go. She maybe feeling horrible, but it doesn't mean she has to look like she doesn't have anything to wear that looks good!
My aunt wrote me a long letter following one of my previous blogs-the one where i talked about family. Yes, I'm going to follow up on that letter, probably on this blog, I just have to prepare myself mentally to do it. Have to sort out the thoughts. Yes, Aunt Violet, I will do, I'm not ignoring it!! It was really special to receive her letter. Not many people send written letters anymore. I'm definitley going to keep that one!!
I'm going to make a good supper today. Don't know what it will be yet, but I'm going to dig something our of the freezer and create a fabulous meal! Hmmm, wonder what it will be......

I'll update you all after Wednesday's appt. Probably not until Thursday though.....

Wondering.....

Three days of work are done. Long weekend is over. And for us at work it was quiet. Usually long weekends are quite busy, especially during summer months. But, we didn't have a doctor available on call, so all emergency room patients were directed to the closest ER. Unfortunately for the closest ER, the two hospitals closest to them, were closed, and they were probably overloaded with out of town patients. That is the reality of rural medicine. There are just not enough docs around, and they can't 'perform' 24/7. Docs are normal people with families and needs just like the rest of us. So, to me its understandable for them to take time away from work to look after themselves. We are short one Doc in town, and with two away on holidays, that left us one for last week. Even if we had 4 docs employed at the facility, they would be busy. We cover a large geographical area with a large size population. Yes, that's the reality of rural medicine. Anyway, that made my weekend at work fairly quiet. It was a nice break.

When I had figured out my fall schedule, this spring, I was relieved to have the upcoming 10 days off, to help with harvest. God seems to have other plans. The weather has wreaked havoc with my scheduling harvest. The amount of rain sent our way has the fields saturated with water. It has rained off and on since Sunday. And, yes, I look out the window and see clouds and a light rain falling right now. I get so sarcastic. Like, 'hmmmm, its so dry, good thing its raining again!'. Not!! The lakes in the front yard are back, the fields are mud/standing water, and the roads are tracks of mud as well. Guess I'll find something else to do with my days off. Not that there isn't stuff to do, its just difficult to find something else to do, when there's bigger problems and bigger projects that should be done.

A 42 year old neighbour, father of two, was killed Sunday night, in a ATV accident. We were talking at work yesterday about the tragic summer its been in the area. Last week, a 65 yr old farmer was crushed fatally in a farming accident. Alot of loss for small communities. Hard to understand why families are left without their loved ones.

Kids are back to school tomorrow. Grade 7 and 9. 6 more years and no more bus rides out of this yard. Wow!! Jayde has hockey this weekend; tryouts for a winter city team. I'm a little nervous for him. He's gonna have to do very well to make this team. Don't know if he's got it in him, but for his sake I hope he does well. He so badly wants to play on this team.

Mom has her CT on Thursday with an oncology appointment next week to review results and decide on chemo plan. She has certainly enjoyed her break from medical appts. She is looking well considering her disease. She does tire very easily and her pain is increasing, so the CT results are going to be interesting. Is that the right word? Probably not, but I can't think of a better one right now.

Sunday evening we went to Rog and Anita's. Their house is still a revolving door to visitors. I hope they're ok with all the people going through. They certainly are cared for. I know I'm finding this weekend difficult, so I can imagine how hard it is for them. I keep thinking, this is the weekend they would have moved Kate to get her settled in for university. Then I think of Beth having to go back to high school on Wed, and being among all the kids, in the environment she went with Kate the last couple of years. Kate would have loved university. She would have thrived on the learning aspect, the social environment, and the sports/volleyball program university would have offered her. Oh, the what ifs?? I spoke or texted all of my nieces and nephews yesterday. There's a need to connect with them. I don't have very many of them, and to know they're doing ok is very important. They are all special!!!

If only the sun would shine....... Somehow its just easier to handle difficult times when the sun is out.

August is definitely a better month!!

Wednesday night at work I was going to do a post, can't remember about what, and I couldn't believe it!!! We are not allowed to access any blogs once again. Hmmm. I don't know whats going on there!!
I've enjoyed my Thursday and Friday. Yesterday, I slept till almost noon. Then after having lunch, the boys and I went to the elementary school in town and finished painting the playground equipment, along with Andrea and her kids. The PAC had done most of the painting in June, but due to weather and such, the finishing was delayed until now. So we finished the tops of the swing sets and the soccer posts. It all looks wonderful!!! When we got home, I actually lay down again, and had a nap. Made homemade pizza for supper, and then I went outside to spray Round-Up on the weeds that are trying to take over my yard. It's dark so early-by 9! Once I got in I remembered that work had a bake sale in the morning to raise funds for cable and tv's for all patient rooms. So, I baked cake and cupcakes. Good thing I had that nap. Today we went out for breakfast and then the boys went to my parents to help my dad with his garage sale. My parents are bringing them home sometime soon. I've washed floors, done laundry, cleaned my kitchen, cleaned up some fruit and cucumbers. No I didn't eat them all. I have the fruit all peeled and cut up in the fridge to eat along with a lemon dip I made. The cucumbers are sliced and sitting in a brine on the counter for Fridge Pickles. The steak is marinating and the baked potatoes are on the counter, ready for BBQing for supper.
Tomorrow its back to work for the start of 3, 12 hour day shifts. What timing! Start of harvest and I'm stuck at work. Then it'll be 9 days off to-harvest, start moms chemo, and clean out moms garden.
Del is out swathing barley at the present. The majority of the canola is down. The remainder of the canola is too wet to swath.
And.......we are getting culverts and a ditch for our yard. They are actually working on it right now. They started yesterday. They have one more culvert to put in, and then they're making a ditch the length of our yard. Hopefully this will help some of our drainage issues. Then its up to us to landscape the yard appropriately so the water drains to the ditch. I can hardly wait to see the water drain next spring!!! :-)
What awesome weather yesterday and today. Temps of 22/23 and sunshine. Perfect summer days. Light breeze. I love it!
Had a discussion at work the other day about relationships. What makes a couple seperate after 30 years of marriage? Whats an appropriate reason to leave your spouse?? What does it take to make a marriage last?? Is it good to stay together 'for the kids'? I don't know all the answers. I'd be rich if I could answer those questions. Or maybe if I could make people do what I think it would require. Relationships aren't easy. They don't happen by themselves. Constant work. Give and take. Forgiveness. And more give.....Love is an all encompassing word. There's a song, remember it?? Love is patient, love is kind, .......based on a Bible passage. Did I mention, I don't have all the answers?? Just lots of thoughts and questions. Makes for an interesting discussion. Right, Mich??
Two more days to go this month. Feeling much better about August. Still not wanting the kids to go back to school next week, but its coming regardless. I'm going to go make a to-do list for them for this weekend, while I'm at work. Have a wonderful long weekend!