I don't really know how to start this blog-or end it, for that matter. So much to express, but words don't convey enough at times.
My mom's bone scan results are in-the cancer has metastasized to her bones. Namely, her lt ribs, lt shoulder and upper arm, some vertebrae, and possibly her hip. How's that for a slap in the face???? Yeah, not what you want for results. This news was given on Wednesday, and by Thursday morning, Cancer Care called to get mom in for radiation set-up for that afternoon. Thankfully, Laureen was available and willing to take mom. Not only did they discuss and set-up for radiation, they gave mom 2 shots of radiation. She received treatment to her ribs and shoulder-the areas where she is experiencing pain. The radiation was not given to cure, but was given as a measure for pain control. And as of last night, mom thought it was helping. We think Chemo is now done, as it hasn't done what it was intended to do. Or not enough anyways. Cancer Care is meeting on this today, and will set up final orders regarding all this, but we are leaning towards not bothering with the last treatment of the intended set. Mom felt quite ill with the last one, and we're not sure that its worth it, just to feel horrible. Dad is definitely struggling with the treatment plan. He would like to still try everything possible, understandably so. But, mom is so tired. She is so tired of feeling ill. I think for her the benefits of treatment just don't do enough. It becomes a question of quantity vs. quality.
Jayde's surgery is only 2 sleeps away. He says he is not nervous, and I actually believe him. He wants it over with, and move on! I'm doing ok so far with that plan. Can't make any promises for Wednesday tho. It's so difficult to trust and give up your child when they move on through those heavy OR doors. Yeah, I know he'll be fine! He will be in hospital for 1-2 nights, and I guess he and I will bond during this time. Yes, I still insist on staying with my big boy. He may be taller than I am, but he still needs his mother to look out for him! Or maybe I should say, his mother still needs to feel like she can look out for him! :-)
Jayde's team played their last pre-Christmas game yesterday, and tied. How exciting for them-they finished first in the Interlake. That's a first for that team, and I'm so happy for them. Kyle has a league game tomorrow and a tournament on Saturday. Then he's done till January. I worked my three shifts last week, and I work tonight. A friend, who works casual, is working Tues and Wed for me so I can be with Jayde. Del is wrapping up his busy time at work with the paperwork for pre-orders of seed for next year. I'm so proud of him on his first pre-order season!
Saturday, we were at home. Del and the boys did farming stuff. I got to spend the day in the house-lucky me!! I baked buns and cinnamon rolls. I cleaned and did laundry. I slept in! I sorted and bagged Christmas gifts. And, we had company in the evening! Our favorite, friendly neighbours came for coffee! Wasn't that wonderful!??! We don't do that enough!
So, the question in my mind today is-well there's alot, but this one isn't as deep as some-what's appropriate for Christmas gifting?? When is it enough or not enough? Do children need more stuff? Is it better to spend only $20 on a gift that is only supposed to have that amount spent, but not appropriate for that person, or is it better to spend $30 for a gift that person actually wants or needs?? Everyone's dollar is valuable and stretched to last as long as possible. Why would I want to spend $10 on a shirt that will not last 2 washings, when I could spend $50 on one that will last 10 washings? (I guess I could buy 5 shirts for that amount, eh??) You know what I mean. I want to buy the best gift possible, for the amount allotted, and I want it to be meaningful. Also, will my kids appreciate the gifts they're getting, or is it just a pile of whatever for them?? Hmmm, I guess every parent struggles with what to get their kids.
One week till Katelyn's birthday. How the heck do you help parents get through that first birthday without their child? Especially at this time of year?? What is appropriate to do to honor that day?
Told you. Don't know how to end this post. Too many questions. Too many thoughts. Too many emotions.
1 comment:
First of all, I HATE cancer. I hate going through this all over again with another Grandma. I just hate it. It really really freaks me out.
Secondly, I know what you mean about the gifts. It's easier for my own kids, since I see what they do each day, and I can guess what they would appreciate the most. But for other people, that I hardly know, I find it really difficult. And I hate copping out.
As far as Katelyn, that really stinks too. We're just going to have to be a family and do what we can do.
Post a Comment