I feel much better about it after putting it into writing! Beware!

Ah, I'm home. The weather is wonderful-plus 4 and sunshine today. Worked my last night and slept this morning. Off to town I went to take care of some business for my parents. Visited at my parents for a short time, and then I went for a full body massage. Oh, it was awesome!!!! Total relaxation! I could have stayed in that little world for a lot longer! Alas, I did have to get off the massage table and once again enter the real world. Then, I shocked Del by going to wash the Blazer. That thing was camoflouge grey/mud/whatever! Now, we can once again see the navy that it is, and the windows are now visible. Yes, somedays I shock even myself! :-) Back home, and I went for a walk. That was so good-the fresh air and sunshine!! Love the spring season! I have to dream up a healthy supper, and I think I will BBQ sausage and veggies. Fresh buns, from the freezer, and maybe beans from a can. Sounds good??

Anyone who doesn't want to think deeply, please move on to the next site you want to go to. I'm going to talk out some emotion-my kind of therapy.
Some days and some moments I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall. Seriously, the subject of alternative medicine is making me sick.......
I'm frustrated. So, we manage to get our mother home, to spend her last days in peace and comfort. To spend time with family and friends. Isn't that what you want when you reach that part of the life cycle? But people just won't let it lie. So many people have life saving solutions, that of course, have worked miracles in other peoples lives, and should of course change my moms as well. Okay, maybe I don't give it all enough credit. Are we not all created to die at some point? I know to lose a loved one is such a sad situation, but it is part of life. To die at 68-yes, thats young. Are we created to live forever? I don't want to be preachy or anything, but don't we actually strive to go to Heaven? Not that we should go out of our way to get there, but God has a plan for all of us, and maybe we shouldn't mess with that too much. Take care of yourself, seek reasonable medical help from people who are qualified and well trained in their fields. But, when the verdict is, it is finished, then what?? When are people supposed to come to terms with their demise, or the demise of people around them? The grief process is difficult and very different for each individual. Everyone copes differently. Some people don't cope. Some very wise person told me a few years ago, that, if a person struggles at dealing with someone elses death, they probably are not comfortable with thinking of their own immortality. And, in my life experience, (short as it is), I've come to agree with that philosophy.
So what to do with all the suggestions for moms miracle recovery? I just don't know. I feel like saying something very impolite, but of course, I'd never do that! :-) Instead, I remind myself this is about mom and what would she want. She has gone on record as being adamant about what she would like or not like done. She does not want to pursue other avenues of treatment. So, how to tell all the well meaning folks, with all the remedies, where to go??? Haven't figured out that answer. I can politely discuss and thank all the people who approach me. But, what about the people who phone or show up at my parents home? They are so vulnerable at this time. My poor father is having enough of a difficult time dealing with this all, without having to decide whether 'he's done enough for mom', or 'what else could we do'.
Maybe I should post another sign along side the 'short visits' sign-one that says, 'leave your pills at home'. Think that would work?
Truly, I so deeply desire for my parents to have a meaningful time together at home. Laugh together, cry together, talk about things never talked about, re-hash old conversations, look at pictures, etc......... Is that simply to much to wish for?